a faith observed: Potty Time

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Potty Time

Simon's wee'ed in the potty 2 times now! Yeah! Last night he again went to the potty before his bath, and again, he did it when neither Andrew or I was in the bathroom. I'm so excited! Maybe we will get him potty trained before his sister arrives.

It's a beautiful Saturday morning. I'm playing with Simon while Andrew sleeps (he worked really late last night). Then who knows what we'll do today. Maybe a trip to Underwater World and Starbucks (I feel like something American today! Been feeling homesick the last two days). And I plan on having a swim today so that's exciting. The water feels so good these days.

Found out yesterday that I still don't know if I've gotten into the birthing center yet in Brisbane. The obstetricians want to meet with me and do some follow up blood work to find out more about my "unspecified" bleeding disorder, before they allow me into the birth center. So it's good news that there's still a chance I can get in, but I'm also tired of the waiting game. It means waiting for an appointment with an obstetrician in Brisy, and then waiting for blood tests, etc. We'll probably go ahead and meet with a home birth midwife up here, to find out more if that would be a real possibility.

Yesterday Simon and I took a nice, long bike ride to one of my favourite playgrounds. We ran into a family there with a girl Simon's age (2 days older) who had a massive four wheeler (for kids). Well, Simon got to ride on it and he was in heaven. Until he had to get off and then the tears began! There was a big open field so he could really ride it and he steered himself and pushed down the pedal completely on his own. What a proud Mama I was.... my little boy riding a 4 wheeler. Funny the things that make us proud!

Well, Andy's just woken up. He is incredible. Absolutely the best husband and father. He works so hard and always is around for Simon and I and has such joy, too. I love watching him and Simon together. He's up for the Underwater World idea (our annual passes have almost expired so I want to get another visit in!)but Simon's not so keen. He watched a shark video with Johan this summer that has scared him off of sharks and fish. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe have some nice pics to post later today.

Oh, I've included a belly pic but it is about four weeks old- I think I was 19 weeks. I've grown a lot since then so I'll take some more pics soon... I need to get Andrew to help me out and then I'll post em.

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This is me, a faith observed.

C.S. Lewis writes about the pain of losing his beloved wife, Joy, in his book, "A Grief Observed". In some ways this is my attempt to share my journey through grief and back into life, as the past nine months have been characterized by an immeasurable longing for my beloved father, who died suddenly this past January.

After months of hibernation from the internet, I unexpectedly find myself able to re-begin this blog and connect with my larger community of family and friends. This blog will likely reflect less of the intensity and depth of my pain and more of the simplicity and ordinary joy that keeps my life full - namely days running after our little boy, Simon Pierre. But it is because of the incredible love and presence that defined my relationship with my father, that I feel I can will myself to not just survive each day but to pour that same kind of love and attention onto Simon.

My father was an endless source of strength to me, a pillar of faith. His last words, spoken to my mother as he passed into that which is unseen, "God is good - good all the time", have remained with me through this dark cloud of grief. And when God seems hidden, when justice seems to be losing out, when life is unfair, and when death swallows up the one I most love, I remember my father's words and breathe in this promise, that the God of love is in the process of restoring that which has been destroyed.

And as my father told me in dream I've had since his death, "Look to Jesus. As a father, to point you towards Him is the best gift I can give to you." So here I am, this is me, a faith to be observed.

I hold onto that which is not always seen- the promise of God's goodness, the hope that one day in the promised new heavens and earth- on a grassy hill or a sand covered beach- the lion and the lamb will lie down side by side and I, too, will lie down side by side, next to my father, and we will laugh and laugh until there are no more tears left to cry.