a faith observed: Model trains, scooters, and Bob the Builder

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Model trains, scooters, and Bob the Builder

Andrew, Simon, and I are in Kalbar, enjoying a few days with Grandma and Grandpa. On Sunday there was a special exhibition (with guest appearances by Bob the Builder!) at a train musuem close by in Ipswich. Grandma thought Simon would love it, which he did. Then on Thursday we will go to Brisbane for the launch of Steph's latest biography of Bruce Dawe. Today we're back to the train museum, as we purchased an annual pass. This museum is one of the best children's museums I've ever seen. It was amazing and I'm excited to return, as we barely scratched the surface. Simon could have spent all day watching the model trains. I shed a few tears as I missed my dad so much and wished he was here to enjoy it all with Simon, fellow train enthusiast. So today will likely be another day of thinking about and missing my dad, as we are surronded by diesel engines and interesting facts. A heap of photos of the day, as well as some of Simon racing up and down Grandma and Grandpa's verandah on his scooter and finally, my 29 week old belly!

3 comments:

Cass said...: oh my goodness - simon must have been in HEAVEN!!!
and you look loverly too, Mumma!

(we received your wonderful gifties - LOVE THEM! - but i've been so waffly in the head and keep forgetting to write and thank you ... your time with two and this mental chaos is coming!); October 27, 2009 at 10:33 AM
Marge said...: Great pictures!! I didn't realize that you were still in Kalbar! No wonder you don't answer your phone! Simon looks like he is in train heaven...and looks like he will be moving from scooter to skate board any minute now!
You look great as well! Much love; October 28, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Rachel said...: Now THERE'S a belly! Hooray! xo; October 28, 2009 at 10:58 PM

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This is me, a faith observed.

C.S. Lewis writes about the pain of losing his beloved wife, Joy, in his book, "A Grief Observed". In some ways this is my attempt to share my journey through grief and back into life, as the past nine months have been characterized by an immeasurable longing for my beloved father, who died suddenly this past January.

After months of hibernation from the internet, I unexpectedly find myself able to re-begin this blog and connect with my larger community of family and friends. This blog will likely reflect less of the intensity and depth of my pain and more of the simplicity and ordinary joy that keeps my life full - namely days running after our little boy, Simon Pierre. But it is because of the incredible love and presence that defined my relationship with my father, that I feel I can will myself to not just survive each day but to pour that same kind of love and attention onto Simon.

My father was an endless source of strength to me, a pillar of faith. His last words, spoken to my mother as he passed into that which is unseen, "God is good - good all the time", have remained with me through this dark cloud of grief. And when God seems hidden, when justice seems to be losing out, when life is unfair, and when death swallows up the one I most love, I remember my father's words and breathe in this promise, that the God of love is in the process of restoring that which has been destroyed.

And as my father told me in dream I've had since his death, "Look to Jesus. As a father, to point you towards Him is the best gift I can give to you." So here I am, this is me, a faith to be observed.

I hold onto that which is not always seen- the promise of God's goodness, the hope that one day in the promised new heavens and earth- on a grassy hill or a sand covered beach- the lion and the lamb will lie down side by side and I, too, will lie down side by side, next to my father, and we will laugh and laugh until there are no more tears left to cry.